Committed Relationships

Listening Responding while your partner is speaking: 1. Show (using facial expressions, posture and tone of voice) that you understand your partner’s statements and accept his/her right to have those thoughts and feelings. 2. Practice empathy - try to put yourself in your partner’s place and look at the situation from his/ her perspective. How do you think he/she feels and thinks about the issue? 3. While you are in the listener role: • Do not ask questions — except for clarification. • Do not express your own viewpoint. • Do not misinterpret or change the meaning of your partner’s statements. • Do not offer solutions or attempt to solve the problem. • Do not make judgments on what your partner has said. Ways to respond after your partner finishes: 4. Practice reflection: Summarize and restate your partner’s most important feelings, desires, conflicts and thoughts. Bottom Line Healthy relationships empower both partners to pursue their own goals and interests. Roles may change over time. One partner may need to pick up the slack or make sacrifices at various times in the relationship. Each partner should be active in the decision-making process with trust and respect in place to provide a supportive environment. Balance among school, friends and the relationship will look different for each couple, but should ultimately be mutually agreeable and satisfying for both people.